today's blog, ok?

Today I cycled from Rickmansworth to Cowley. Was tiring, really beautiful and unusual scenery on the canal though and I will take pictures next time.
Can't remember when Colour Me Wednesday are gonna be in Big Cheese but maybe I will casually saunter into WHSmiths tomorrow and have a little browse to see if we're in there. Cos I'm excited.

On Hating on 'Celebrity Culture'

So easy, isn't it, to hate on celebrity culture? But what exactly are you hating? The celebrities? ALL celebrities? People who like celebrities? People who like which celebrities? What about people who just have loads of facebook friends? What about people who are famous cos they were murdered? What about people who are famous cos they invented a miracle cure for a disease or something?
What about people who are famous for hating on celebrity culture?
eh? EH? EHHH?
I don't think I know what celebrity culture is... can you please enlighten me?

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist, she is... let's say... a critic of 'celebrity culture' ('aren't ALL guardian journalists hating on celebrity culture' you ask? Maybe.) and in series 2 of one of my favourite tv programs Newswipe she was given a small feature where she talked about various celebrities who endorse various charities or causes and how it's bad... bad... naughty and shameless self-promotion and it's just so...tacky ... oh, unless you're Joanna Lumley of course.

Celebrities exist, they are famous because they are actors, or singers or entertainers of some kind mostly...and they usually have lots of money, and lots of time to spend that money. But what do you bloody want Marina? They're bringing publicity to the cause, it's better than just doing... whatever all the other celebrities do! I don't care if they are doing it just to promote themselves, I don't care! It's a hell of a lot better than doing fuck-all!

Most of this sniffiness about celebrities is just a nouveau version of snobbery towards the nouveau riche, it always comes from an upper class person. It's so EASY to do, it's such a knee-jerk reaction.
I looked Marina Hyde up on wikipedia and her Dad was a 'sir' and she went to Oxford so... Yeah, Marina, of course you hate celebrities, they have so much unearned wealth and status, not like you! And they're so low-brow. And working class people actually like them, the idiots!

I, for some stupid reason, wrote a comment on the youtube of the program in question. this is it:

SiLeNtPuNk1 I sort of WANTED to like Marina Hyde but I don't think she really has anything interesting to say, on this occassion, just seems like knee jerk snobbery towards celebrities and the consumers of 'celebrity culture'. At least they ARE political, at least they are doing something, bringing publicity to causes. plenty of celebrities seem happily empty headed, where are their opinions? I know if I found fame, I'd be going on about my opinions, causes I care about, injustices in the world all the time

And then, for some stupid reason, I checked my Gmail at some point and saw that some Troll-ish person had commented back.

WeNeedSomeGolfShoes Right, and how is bringing publicity to these causes in any way supposed help them? Other then give the celebrity in question a quick popularity boost?

And if you seriously find fame and start galavanting your opinion as if it would make a meassure of a difference, I garentee you I will be the first one to laugh in your face.

AND HE GOT 2 THUMBS UP FROM THE YOUTUBE COMMUNITY!
Yeah cos bringing publicity to charities doesn't help them at all! charities just want a quiet life, in fact a lot of them are SECRET charities who don't want any money or attention of any kind!

He also obviously misses the fact that Charlie Brooker is a celebrity and to a lesser degree so is Marina Hyde, and if they were some nobody on the street he most likely wouldn't have heard them 'galavanting' their opinions at all and wouldn't have so much obvious respect for them. I guess he would have less respect for them if they happened to have been actors first. In these people's minds, if you become and actor or a singer or a model, should your mouth be glued shut for the rest of time? Are they no longer allowed to participate or comment politically?


btw, fyi, if you didn't know, I LOVE Charlie Brooker, but he has actually mentioned that sexists misinterpret his affected misanthropic style as misogyny in sexist comments on the Guardian website. I try to avoid comments on Brooker stuff cos I hate seeing idiots who seem to think Charlie Brooker is one of them. Shudder...

Unexamined Privilege Episode

Sorry to mislead you but I don't think this particular blog post is gonna be about an Unexamined Privilege Episode, but I do LOOOVE that term, I came across it in Jennifer Kesler's blogsite 'What Privilege' which features articles about Unexamined Privilege Episodes and unearned privilege and taking privilege for granted and I'm finding it hard to explain but here's a link.

Anyway, let me tell you about my weekend. On Saturday we had yoga class with my mum, Akbar came and so did Dan. Pami from work came as well but she was really late, probably due to the 222 bus service from Hounslow (emphasis on the SLOW. RIGHT? YEAH!).
On Sunday night we went to Dan's. We brought chips and tortilla wraps and courgettes and houmous ('we' is CMW, BTW) and eventually the oven made it hot and we ate it. We watched 'The Boat That Rocked' Which is a terrible film. I mean disappointing but I don't say disappointing because almost all films disappoint me, even the ones I think will be shit turn out to be shitter.
That sounds like I'm really critical. I am... but I don't actually have high standards for films, not really. Even if I know it is going to be shit, I always think I will be entertained. This is because I forget that the film industry is still quite a sexist industry and hardly any films pass the 'Bechdel test'.
In order for a film to pass the Bechdel test, at least two NAMED women in the film must have a conversation... with each other.... about something other than... a man. (MORE ON THIS)
Sounds pretty basic right? Apparently not.
I am pretty sure The Boat That Rocked featured its female characters heavily in its promotional material (which tricked me into thinking it would just be... normal and nice) but this film does not by any stretch of the imagination pass the Bechdel test. There's even a LESBIAN in it and she only says one word to a female in the whole film and it's 'lovely'.
I don't conciously try to apply the Bechdel test to films as I am watching them*see analogy below, it's just painfully obvious when a film is a cockfest and this, my friends, is a cockfestival. It's also obvious when almost all the female characters in a film are 'doormats or prostitutes'. or I guess 'Victims or Bitches' would be more accurate, it's the Bond girl dualism. I'd love to see that quiz in MIZZ magazine, 'Hey girls, which female movie character are you? Victim or Bitch?' (Mizz is one of the more aspirational pre-teen-magazines, obv.)

I guess if you're a (white) guy and you don't see anything wrong with these films because, hey, they paint people like you in such a great light etc. etc..... we might call that an... Unexamined Privilege Episode. YEAH! I worked it in, I'm a weaver, I weave.

I'm actually really wired on coffee right now. I can only write/think in really short sentences before my attention span shorts out.

* Imagine... all your friends are playing a game, but you aren't allowed to play. You're only allowed to watch. This might be entertaining, if it's a fun game to watch. On the other hand, it might be one of those games that's only fun to play, and not fun to watch (because it's a badly made game with a weak script... I mean... weak... rules...). This means that you won't be entertained, and you won't be having fun, you may just feel left out. this is what it is like for a woman to watch films which don't pass the Bechdel Test.

this song rocks

So what am I not supposed to have an opinion
Should I be quiet just because I'm a woman
Call me a bitch cos I speak what's on my mind
Guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled

When a female fires back
Suddenly the target don't know how to act
So he does what any little boy will do
Making up a few false rumors or two

That for sure is not a man to me
Slanderin' names for popularity
It's sad you only get your fame through controversy
But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say

This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave them proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down

Nobody can hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Never can, never will

So what am I not supposed to say what I'm saying
Are you offended by the message I'm bringing
Call me whatever cos your words don't mean a thing
Guess you ain't even a man enough to handle what I sing

If you look back in history
It's a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore

I don't understand why it's okay
The guy can get away with it & the girl gets named
All my ladies come together and make a change
Start a new beginning for us everybody sing

This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
What do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down

Check it - Here's something I just can't understand
If the guy have three girls then he's the man
He can either give us some head, sex her off
If the girl do the same, then she's a whore
But the table's about to turn
I'll bet my fame on it
Cats take my ideas and put their name on it
It's aiight though, you can't hold me down
I got to keep on movin'
To all my girls with a man who be tryin to mack
Do it right back to him and let that be that
You need to let him know that his game is whack
And Lil' Kim and Christina Aguilera got your back

But you're just a little boy
Think you're so cute, so coy
You must talk so big
To make up for small lil' things
So you're just a little boy
All you'll do is annoy
You must talk so big
To make up for small lil' things

This is for my girls...
This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down

This is for my girls all around the world
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard
So what do we do girls?
Shout louder!
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground
Lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will, can't hold us down
Spread the word, can't hold us down

today I went to Eastbourne

early in the morning. took Hat's camera but didn't have anything to photograph most of the time or wasn't used to having a camera. But anyway I walked to Eastbourne town and went in nearly all the charity shops but being an old-lady town there is only old lady stuff or just really mundanely naff and over-priced stuff - Jeans for a fiver, yeah? Think again Scope!- I bought some stockings and a pleated grey skirt that I plan to revamp to look like this>>>
. They have about 20 charity shops but that ain't saying much really.
I also saw some shop window that was being used to show some art that was pretty cool
cos it has a John Lennon quote and a Bill Hicks quote which was apt cos I was wearing my Hicks Lives t-shirt (which is on it's way out cos I made it in 2004!) I liked this art cos it looked kinda shambolic and thrown together, has a sixth-form-esque naivity rather than being stupidly slick and expensive and oblique and BLAAND like the art they wanted us to make at uni.
Anyway then I went back to my nan's granny flat for old dears and had some soup and apple juice:

there's me in the mirror, and my nan and my dad and the window fitter in the doorway.









And my nan must smell of lollies cos I spotted she uses chupa chups body spray (flavour: 'I love me')







and my nan passes the time by perving on this pigeon that lives in the tree outside her window which she insists 'isn't a common pigeon, must be part dove', of course it is. THE END.

Chilli Sauces

It's so hard to find the perfect chilli sauce, Here is some that I have tried and reviewed in no particular order... I have also included Chilli Oils.


MAGGI CHILLI AND GARLIC SAUCE
This sauce is not too spicy, maybe not spicy enough in fact! It starts off as quite addictive but soon becomes sickly, It's the exact consistency of ketchup. I think it is thinkened with some kind of starch, too much filler in other words not enough chilli. Works with Chips. Also too SWEET! 5/10






UNBRANDED CHINESE CHILLI OIL (picture may not be accurate)
I bought this at a Chinese supermarket in china town.
it was unbranded and didnt have ingredients the first time
I bought it, it's very chinese tasting, only works with chinese food.
Later I found out the ingredients included Shrimp, Sesame oil and MSG.
the MSG made it addictive, sesame oil made it chinesey and the Shrimp made it not suitable for Vegetarians/Vegans. 6/10

VEGETARIAN CHILLI OIL (picture may not be accurate)
I got this from a foreign foods stall at a car boot sale, it is a vegetarian version of the above, was really nice but still only works with chinese food.
7/10





ENCONA WEST INDIAN ORIGINAL HOT PEPPER SAUCE
This is really tasty chilli sauce but sometimes too hot to handle, i don't think
it's important for chilli sauce to be VERY hot. I'm not in it for the macho kudos alright? I want that tasty chilli taste, I like to be able to taste the chilli but not be in pain, that puts me in a bad mood when I'm trying to eat. For some reason the taste of this chilli sauce reminds me of the smell of freshly baked bread, really nice, really wholesome tasting. Works with everything! 8.5/10

CHOLULA HOT SAUCE
This chilli sauce, imported from Mexico is hot but bearable it really only works with Mexican foods like burritos and bean chili because of the spices used.
My parents bought it for me from America for $6.45, later I saw it at the aforementioned imported foods stall at a boot sale and it was £9!! I thought, wow they got a bargain! but.... last week... I saw it in Morrisons SuperMarket
for like 99p so go out and buy it if you like mexican food. 6/10




NANDOS PERI PERI SAUCE
This hot sauce is delicious, works with all foods, Italian, Chinese, Indian,
English (Potato Products ahah), ....Portuguese!
I buy Medium cos I love the taste so I always put loads on (AND BTW I DONT EAT CHICKEN!). I think it's the onions that make it so addictive! 9/10




DILITA AFRIKANA PERI-PERI HOT SAUCE
I was hoping to find slightly cheaper alternative to the Nandos equivalent....
but.... I dont know WHO could like this sauce, I've paid money for it so I TRIED to make myself eat it but can't stop SPITTING IT OUT on reflex. It says it contains 'lemons' on the ingredients, the lemon taste is overwhelming, and I wouldnt mind if it actually tasted like lemon, it tastes like lemon sherbets (those boiled sweets) or like Flash Lemon Fresh floor cleaner. it's not natural!!! there might be SOME recipe this goes with but I havent found it yet. 1/10
[NO PICTURE] DILITA MEXIAN RED JALAPENO SAUCE
This chilli sauce was a pale translucent colour which was a bit suspicious, cos sometimes it means it'll be too sweet, only the chinese can do sweet chilli sauce okay? but that's another story. Well it didnt taste like sweet chilli sauce and it certainly didnt taste mexican. REALLY! It tastes exactly like that sweet mint/ chilli/ coriander chutney you get with samosas from indian restaurants or shops (which would be ok but it came in a small bottle so you can only have a tiny bit, unlike at Indian food shops where you get a whole cup!). So... good with samosas and pakoras, not with mexican food. It has mint in the ingredients.
4/10
THAI KITCHEN SWEET CHILLI SAUCE
A lot of sweet chilli sauces are very similar, this one was very nice!
and comes in a really big squeezy bottle. But some sweet chilli sauces taste different.... like Asda's own, which is alright but doesnt have that special... something so... in conclusion, Thai Kitchen sweet chilli sauce is a safe bet, tastes great with noodles and also potato wedges or chips. 8/10




[no picture] CHILLI INFUSED OLIVE OIL
I think... that tesco's chilli infused olive oil is the best, cant really remember cos I havent bought it for ages. but the problem I came across with sainsbury's chilli oil was that it had 'chilli extract' instead of just 'chilli' on the ingredients. so the tesco one tasted more of fresh chilli it came in a bottle with a black lable with a picture of a chilli pepper. Great on Pasta, Pizza and...wedges... 8/10

I have tried other chilli sauces but cant remember if they were any good, dont really think much of tobasco, too vinegary, cant taste the chilli, if you know of any really good chilli sauces let me know!!!

I hate logging in

yeah I hate logging in to things, having to type your password and shit.... so annoying, I especially hate how after I've logged into the new MSN Messenger, I click on my e-mail and I have to log in AGAIN! it never remembers me...
I resent all these security checks being a person who has never once had any account hacked from phishing scams or whatever, who falls for that shit, loads of ppl I know have had their e-mail, facebook and myspace hacked. Not really 'Hacked' since no hacking was really involved they basically gave their password away to some window that popped up and asked for it. haha.

I bet I get hacked now I've said that. :P